For Now and Forever
by CubbiesGirl
Summary: A year after her husbands passing Rachel finds herself still coping with the loss, trying to deal with her increasinly out of control 16 year old daughter, and also trying to figure out her closed off ten year old son. Where does Noah fit in?
1. Chapter 1

"_Rachel," Rachel turns her head from where she's looking out at the tiny town of Lima passing her by from her passenger side window. She's met with the sparkling blue eyes of her husband. For a moment she feels completely breathless and she wonders how after thirteen years of marriage he still makes her go weak in the knees with every glance. _

"_Thank you for tonight, it was the best birthday ever! I love you so much." Jason thanks her for the millionth time that night, and she feels a swell of pride for being able to bring him as much joy and pleasure as he brings her. Rachel smiles and replies_

"_I love you too." The stoplight turns green, and she's about to turn back to her window when she sees the bright lights coming too fast, and before she can even scream she watches as her husband is crushed and then she hears a sickening crack as her head bangs against something hard and her world goes dark. _

Rachel Saunders wakes up in a cold sweat and her husbands name on her lips. She hopes, just like every night before, that it really was just a nightmare and when she looks to her left her husband will be there, sound asleep where he's supposed to be. She tentatively looks to the left side of the bed, but it is just as empty as it has been for the past 365 days. She doesn't cry though, her heart clenches and she feels pain course through her. Her body hurts in places that she didn't even know existed, but she does not cry. She knows the walls in this now too large house are thin and her children do not need to see that she's weak. They need to know that she's there to comfort them when they need her, and she knows that when she wakes up in a few hours to start her day, they will need her more then ever.

Rachel wakes up a few hours later at six o'clock, ready to start her day. She's forgotten all about her dream last night, and after a quick shower she's actually looking forward to the day ahead of her. Today is the first day back to school after a long summer break and Rachel is looking forward to getting back sot her office at William McKinley High School and starting a new year of Glee. She's on her way out of her bedroom, about to head downstairs and start on her annual "back to school" breakfast when her eyes land on a sparkling object peeking out from underneath the bed. She bends to pick the object up, thinking it to be a stray earring, but as she closer inspects the object she realizes that it's her engagement ring. She remembers coming home after the funeral, and going straight up to her room. In a fit of anger and tears she had ripped her engagement ring off and flung it across the room, she wasn't sure what is would accomplish, she just wanted it gone. She had been planning on throwing her wedding ring as well, but after throwing the first one she had crumbled into a ball of hysterics. Rachel can feel her strength crumbling and suddenly she's back in that car, watching as her entire world is ripped apart.

AN: Okay, so this a preview. I love Glee, but I've never done any Glee fan fiction, so this is a first. It's very heavy, but I've just had this idea running around in my head for days and I just couldn't get rid of it! I know it sounds very generic, but I want to throw a big twist in there. At first this twist sounded good, but now I'm not sure if it will be believable. So the twist is that I want her oldest daughter to actually be Noah's daughter because I LOVE Puckelberry, and this is definitely a Noah/Rachel story. My question is this: Is Rachel's daughter being Noah's daughter as well too extreme for such a heavy story? Please review and let me know your thoughts. I know I should decide on my own, but I don't want to waste time writing a story that's bad and nobody enjoys reading.


	2. Chapter 2

It took almost every ounce of strength Rachel possessed to shake the memories welling up inside of her and remind herself that she needed to get her children up and feed them because ,regardless of whether or not she wanted it to, life went on. With a sigh she laid the ring on her bedside table and proceeded down the stairs and into the kitchen to start breakfast for her children, and a large pot of coffee for herself. After Rachel had started the coffee she checked the time on the oven clock and realized that it was a little after six thirty. She knew that she had any prayer of getting Jenna ready and out of the house on time she should start the process of waking the sixteen year old up now.

Wandering up the stairs and down the hallway, Rachel stopped at her daughters door and mentally prepared herself for stepping into the pigsty that her daughter tried to pass off as her bedroom. Opening the door, Rachel was greeted with the strong fresh scent of Febreeze and the sight of her daughter, showered, dressed, and desperately spraying her backpack with whatever was left of the Febreeze. "Jenna, what are you doing?" Rachel questioned her daughter. Jenna whirled around, looking slightly surprised, but recovering quickly.

"Febreezing my backpack." Jenna replied with her ever present sarcastic charm.

"I see that, care to explain why?" Rachel tried again, trying to be patient with her. She knew that Jenna was taking her father's death the hardest, but Rachel was growing weary of her attitude. Though she realized that the anniversary of her husband's death would be hard for their entire family, she had hoped that Jenna would try to be a bit more pleasant seeing as it was her first day of her junior year. Jenna had always liked school, she was a straight A student, just like her mother. Unfortunately, Rachel could already tell that Jenna's attitude was still intact, and she saw no end to it in sight.

"Not really." Jenna huffed, gathered her things, and brushed past her mother. "I'm going in early, and I have practice after school I'll be late." Rachel heard Jenna shout from down the hall, and then a few seconds later she heard the sound of the front door slam and her daughter's jeep roar to life. Rachel looked around the room before her, trying to find some remnants of her daughter somewhere among the piles of revealing clothing gathered in piles on the floor, and the stacks of music she would never understand on the dresser because the girl she had just encountered was not her daughter. Rachel could only hope and pray though that at some point she would see her little girl again.

Letting out a defeated sigh, Rachel left the room and started down the hallway to wake up Aaron, her ten year old son. Rachel slowly opened up the door and poked her head in to her son's perfectly organized room, only to find his bed made and Aaron organizing his school supplies, by size and color, before carefully placing them into his new rocket ship backpack. "Hey little man. Ready for your first day of fifth grade?" Rachel asked Aaron, who looked up at her with his sparkling blue eyes and simply nodded his blonde head before zipping up his backpack and headed downstairs, leaving Rachel alone once again. "Well, this is going smoothly." She said sarcastically to her sons empty room.

After seeing her son off to his first day of fifth grade, Rachel made her way to William McKinley High school. Being an English teacher and the current Glee coach had never been her dream job. Actually, if you had asked her when she was sixteen what she wanted to do with her life, being a teacher wouldn't even have been an option. Now, at 34, she honestly can't see herself anywhere else. Sure there are some days she honestly wants to strangle half the children in the school, but she genuinely loves her job and cares about her students. Especially now, because goodness knows she needs the escape they provide more than ever.

Sitting down her desk in the corner of her small classroom, Rachel takes a long sip from her coffee mug and proceeds to shuffle through the mail she hurriedly grabbed from her mailbox on her way out earlier that morning. She sorts though the bills and the junk mail, but as she comes to the end of the pile she spies a small envelope with familiar handwriting. She's not sure she wants to open the letter, but she knows ignoring it would be rude, and Rachel hates to be rude, especially to someone who had always been kind to her. Hesitantly, Rachel opens the envelop, pulls out the small piece of paper occupying it, and begins to read the content of it. It's and invitation. From Tina and Artie. An invitation from Tina and Artie to attend an end of summer bash this coming weekend. For the first time in a while, Rachel feels her mouth tug at the sides, threatening to turn itself into a smile.

The normalcy of the invitation finally gets to her and she can't help the smile spreading across her face and the small amount of happiness the invitation brings. She hasn't seen her friends in a while, and it's been a year since she socialized with anybody outside of the supermarket. She decides to go, and she refuses to let the guilt of being happy again get to her. She's still alive damnit, and she deserves to be happy. She knows that Jason would want her to be happy and forward with her life, but sometimes it was just so fucking hard.

AN: okay, so I realized half way through that I totally changed the tense from present in the first chapter to past in this one. I am very sorry for that, and from now on I promise for all of it to be in past tense. I'm also changing the rating to mature because I like to curse, a lot, and so does Noah. So there it is, Review.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so I just read through this chapter after I posted it and realized that like the last three paragraphs are in present tense again. I read it like twice through before I posted it and it STILL didn't click. I would like to apologize again for that slip-up, and I think it's pretty clear that I should stop trying to write late at night because it's obviously not working out so well for me! Again, very sorry for that mistake, and this time I really do mean that from here on out it will all be in past tense. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of Rachel's day went by rather uneventfully. She introduced herself to her new students and reacquainted herself with her older ones. She enjoyed the playful banter surrounding her, but by three o'clock she was ready for the end of the day to come. At three twenty, the last bell rang and Rachel made her way to the choir room for her first Glee rehearsal of the Year. Rachel entered the small choir room and set her folder of sheet music down on the Piano and prepared for the rowdy group of students that would start to filter into the room in the next few minutes. Glee was always the best part of her day, and she was glad that she was able to take it over when Mr. Shuester had to give it up when he moved away. Rachel was surprised when she received the call from William McKinley saying she had gotten the position as the new tenth grade English teacher. She hadn't worked since she and Jason had moved to Lima over five years ago and her specialty was music not English. Though she knew there couldn't be too many people knocking down the doors of William McKinley High School demanding to teach tenth graders how to construct semi-decent essays. Rachel let out a small laugh at that thought, Jason had always thought her crazy for becoming a teacher.

"_Miss Berry, while I realize that my 'boring' lectures are cutting into your precious nap time, do you think you could find it within you to stay awake for at least one of them?" Rachel slowly lifted her head up from the desk that it was currently resting on, a blush creeping across her cheeks as she realized that yet again she had fallen asleep during her philosophy class and everyone was staring at her. Rachel mumbled out an apology and straightened herself in her seat, determined to pay attention to the class for the remainder of the session. _

_Ten minutes later Rachel was gathering up her things and heading out the door when she heard someone behind her. "Geeze Berry, don't you ever sleep at night?" Rachel looked behind her to find a taller boy standing against the wall, his blue eyes lit up with the smile gracing his admittedly perfect lips. Jason Saunders was a senior at New York University. Other than that Rachel knew nothing about the man standing in front of her, so she had no idea why he was even talking to her. She didn't really have time to sit here and contemplate his reasons for talking to her though, she had to be home in exactly fifteen minutes to get herself ready for work. _

"_of course, I'm just really tired these days I guess." Rachel replied, and then quickly turned and left Jason standing against the wall outside the classroom as she made her way off the NYU campus, and onto the busy streets of New York City. When she entered her tiny apartment in Greenwich Village Rachel realized that she felt kind of bad for her coldness towards Jason. Though she figured a man like him would be over it by now she resolved to apologize to him on Wednesday before their next philosophy session. _

"_Are you gonna' be nice this time Berry?" Jason asked as Rachel approached him the next Wednesday after their philosophy session had ended. Rachel had her apology nicely rehearsed in her head, but the man's joking tone and warm smile threw her for a loop, and for a second she almost turned around. Letting out a sigh, she realized that she should really just get it over with. _

"_Mr. Saunders, I would like to apologize for my curt tone last Wednesday, as it was certainly unnecessary." Rachel apologized, and as she met his eyes she realized that Jason was desperately trying to bite back a laugh. Embarrassed, and slightly angry, Rachel started to turn around when she felt Jason grab her wrist._

"_Wait, I'm sorry Rachel, and I accept your apology." Rachel turned around and looked back at the sparkling blue eyes looking apologetically down at her._

"_Okay." was all Rachel could manage._

"_If I let you go, will you at least stay for a whole conversation this time?" Rachel contemplated her options for a brief second. Her dad was staying at her place for the afternoon and she wasn't scheduled to work at the coffee house until tomorrow morning, so with a small nod she agreed. Jason let go of her wrist and then sent her for another loop that day when he asked "So, want to grab a cup coffee with me then?" A conversation was one thing, but this invitation was something more than she was expecting, once again though she found herself saying yes._

"_Teaching? High School? Really? That sounds like a migraine waiting to happen." Jason said when she told him what she was doing at NYU. _

"_Yea, it's not really my dream job, but I'm warming up to the idea." Rachel told him._

"_Why settle for something that isn't your dream then?" Jason questioned. Rachel thought about telling him for a second. This past hour had been one of the best hours of her life. Jason was kind, funny, and he was sweet. She didn't want to screw up this new friendship with her baggage just yet. _

"_I didn't really have the guts for my dream I suppose." Rachel lied and Jason studies her for a moment._

"_What was your dream job?" Rachel sighed and answered_

"_Broadway." Before Jason could reply though, Rachel's phone rang and she realized that she had forgotten to phone her father and tell him that she would be late. Looking down at the caller ID, her father's name lit up the screen. "I'm sorry Jason, but I have to go. Thank you for the coffee, I had a great time," and just like before Rachel left Jason as she rushed back to real life. _

"Mrs. Saunders? Are you okay?"Rachel turned around to find several of her Glee members standing just inside the choir room staring at her with questioning eyes. Rachel quickly recovered from the memory and plastered a smile on her face.

"I'm great! How about you? Are you guys ready for a new year of Glee?" Rachel asked as several more members made there way into the room and towards the chairs.

"Of course!" Rachel heard the voice of Sophia Marshall above the other's grumbling and mumbled responses. Rachel's smile grew at Sophia's excited response, thinking that the Glee club could take Regional's with the red headed junior's enthusiasm alone.

"Well let's get started then!" Rachel replied. Sophia's enthusiasm was contagious, and by the end of practice Rachel was looking forward to the promising year ahead of the club. Rachel watched as the students eye's seemed to come to life as she detailed the year ahead of them. Now if only she could breathe as much life into her own daughter.

AN: Okay, so there's the third chapter, I hope it was okay! Thanks for reading, and thank you to all who have reviewed!

Disclaimer: I realized that I forgot to do this earlier, but I obviously do not own Glee because if I did Rachel and Noah would definitely be together!


	5. Chapter 5

"…and then the teacher said whoever got a star on the top of their test got the highest score, and guess what mom?" It was Friday evening, and Aaron was in the process of giving his mother a play by play of his daily activities in the fifth grade.

"What?" Rachel asked, her son's excitement already giving away the answer.

"I got the star!" Aaron exclaimed. Rachel beamed down at her son with an amount of pride only a mother could posses. It was only the end of the first week of school and already Aaron was proving to be at the top of his class. Rachel could not say the same for his older sister though; in fact she wasn't even sure where Jenna was at that point in time. She had claimed that she was running hurdles after school, but it was starting to get dark out and she should have been home by now or at least called to check in. Rachel turned her attention back to her son though, trying to reason with herself that Jenna had simple forgotten.

"That's great, Aaron! I am so proud of you!" Rachel praised her son, and then got up to clear away the supper dishes from the table. Aaron got up as well and started to clear his spot, but Rachel stopped him. "Aaron, why don't you go upstairs and start on your homework so you have time for friends this weekend, I can get the dishes." Aaron looked skeptical but agreed anyway. Rachel turned her attention to the dishes in the sink and decided that she was very grateful to have a dishwasher, because tonight she had no motivation to wash the dishes pilling up on the countertop. Rachel began to load the dishwasher, and just as she started she was hit with the weirdest memory.

"_This meal was beyond amazing Jason. You really are an amazing cook!" Rachel raved, as she helped Jason clear away the dishes and pile them into the sink._

_ "I told you, you wouldn't regret it. Let's see, you now owe me four hours of Bruce Willis action movies." Rachel cringed at the thought, but a deal was a deal, and she had definitely lost this one. _

"_Really Jason, you poor taste in movies is astounding."_

"_Wow, this coming from the girl who only watches movies that are centered on singing and dancing." _

"_Ouch!" Rachel laughed. She and Jason had been 'hanging out' for almost five weeks now, and she was getting the feeling that he wanted things to become more serious, which meant she needed to come clean soon, but tonight she wanted to focus solely on Jason. "Seriously though Jason, the whole meal was just wonderful. Where did you learn to cook so well?"_

"_My mom was always in the kitchen, constantly experiment and adding her own twists on dishes. My dad was gone a lot so it became a hobby for her. If I was home, and she was in the kitchen, I tried to get in and help out as much as I could. I just picked it up after a while." Rachel sensed the tension that arose when Jason mentioned his father, so she tried to bring the attention away from food for the evening. As she opened her mouth to speak though, any coherent thoughts were forgotten as Jason's softly planted his lips on hers, and his hands wrapped around her waist. All Rachel could feel were the fireworks going off in her head as she snaked her arms around his neck, and deepened the kiss. The brush of Jason's tongue against her lips though brought her crashing back to reality, and with a harsh shove she pushed Jason away from her. _

"_Rachel I'm sorry, I just…I've wanted to do that for a while, and it just seemed right." Jason looked bewildered, and slightly scared as he looked at her. Rachel's heart melted at this, but she knew that as soon as she let her into her world as more than a friend, he would not want any part of it. 'But,' Rachel thought to herself 'do you really want him any part of your life if you think he'll run? Of course not! Just tell him and get it the Fuck over with!' And with that Rachel decided to let Jason Saunders completely into her world, and hopefully into her heart. _

"_Jason, I have a daughter." Rachel said, taking the band-aid approach. Rachel waited for him to kick her out, or to call her a slut. When she looked up though, Jason was simply staring at her, expressionless. "Are you mad?" That seemed to get his attention._

"_Mad? No way. Shocked yes, but not mad. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"_

"_I was scared you'd think I was a slut." Rachel explained, thinking that it sounded like a better explanation in her head than it did aloud. Jason looked a little hurt by her explanation._

"_I know we haven't known each other long Rach, but I hope you know that I'll always have your back. I'm always here for you." _

_Jason's comment took her by surprise and all she could get out through the lump forming in her throat was "Ditto." Jason laughed softly and pulled her into his arms._

It was the loud bang of the front door that brought Rachel out of her memory, and back to the world around her. Rachel quickly finished up the dishes and left the kitchen to find her daughter. She padded up the stairs and down the hallway to Jenna's door and whipped it open, intending to give her daughter a piece of her mind and did she know how worried Rachel had been? These things faded way though as Rachel looked at the scene unfolding before her. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Noah Puckerman sighed and scrapped his hand over his scalp as he picked up the folder sitting on the desk in front of him. He was sitting in his office well past quitting time for the third night in a row. He had only been back in Lima, Ohio for a little over two months, and already he had established a reputation for being quite a good lawyer. Albeit, small, the reputation was quickly growing, which was why he was currently sitting his office reading through his latest case.

He read for a couple more minutes in the small light provided by his small desk lamp. He read until the words started to bleed together on the page, leaving only a jumbled mess of letters and punctuations. Noah rubbed his eyes and then set the paper back in its folder and placing the folder into the briefcase sitting by the side of his desk. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a second, imagining the beautiful feeling of the weekend stretching before him, looking forward to sleeping in.

With that Noah found the motivation to move from his desk chair and go back to his small house and his rather large bed.

"Up, up, up!" Quinn's soft feminine voice fluttered through his ears, and he knew instantly that it was not going to be a very good day. "Seriously Noah, you can't sleep the day away." Her voice demanded.

"Woman, how did you even get in here?" He asked groggily as he lifted himself up with his arms rolled over onto his back. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked up at her.

"Finn." Of course. He should have known better than to give his best friend a key to his house. There was no way he could keep it from Quinn, his nosy wife, and of course the inevitable had happened. Quinn had weaseled the key away from her husband.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you promised to baby-sit tonight, I just wanted to make sure you were still up to the challenge."

"And you couldn't just pick up a phone?"

"I wanted to see you place. Noah this place is atrocious, you have exactly three pieces of furniture, and the only thing you have in your refrigerator besides beer is some milk that is dangerously close to its expiration date."

"You went through my fridge?" He arched his right eyebrow up at the end of the question, amused at the blush that touched her cheeks.

"I was thirsty." She explained then went on with her rant over his lack of proper decorating. "You know, you really ought to have a woman's touch added to this place Noah. Really, it has so much potential, how can you live with only a couch and a TV in the living room? Noah-"

"Quinn did you come over just to yell at me about how awful my house looks or was there a reason you woke me up at 8:30 in the morning on my day off?"

"Oh yes, about baby-sitting. Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Quinn, I think I can handle myself with a couple of munchkins, I practically raised my little sister." Noah promised, reassuring her that he was in fact up to the job. "You and Finn go out and have a good time with Tina and Mike. I promise they'll still be alive when you get back." Noah had risen from the bed, not at all shy in front of one of his closest friends, and made his way to the master bathroom, searching for his toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Quinn followed him and leaned in the doorway, waiting until he had gotten the toothbrush into his mouth before saying something.

"Finn and I aren't meeting up with Tina and Mike." She corrected him, and then continued with a smirk on her face. "We're meeting up with Rachel. Anyway, thanks again for agreeing to baby-sit, see you tonight." With a smile she pushed herself from the doorway and left him alone. Noah spit the reaming toothpaste into the sink below him, swished some water in his mouth and dried his face off. "Well fuck." He said calmly to his reflection staring back at him on the mirror. Now all he could do was hope that he would not run into his former classmate and former flame. He had not known that she was back in town, and in a town with only a little over 3,000 people he wondered how he had not already run into her.

'_Oh well'_ he thought to himself. All he could do now was hope and pray that he could avoid her as best he could now that he did know. Unfortunately, such a project might prove to be difficult if they both fraternized with the same circle of friends, especially if said friend was nosy, meddling, Quinn Hudson.

**AN: Wow, sorry it has taken me so long to update, and sorry that this chapter was so short. I will try to write longer chapters in the future, especially that this story is flowing better now, or I hope it is. It's flowing better in my mind; I hope it reads just as smoothly for all of you. Thank you for the reviews, and I hope this chapter is satisfactory, even if it is quite short. Love you all! **


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